What is the right way of meditation so, to increase my consciousness?

meditation1Are you referring to increasing consciousness in the context of being aware? Because, there is no right way, or, for that matter, wrong way, to increase or decrease your consciousness by way of meditation. Consciousness is its content. By meditating on a mantra, a picture, silence, etc, how can that content go up or down? It remains as it is, is it not? One can store any number of information by way of opinions, ideas, knowledge, beliefs, conditionings, prejudices, preferences, priorities, values, fears, insecurities, anger, and so on. All these are part of the content of one’s consciousness, is it not? One can be conscious of it, that is, be aware of it, through contemplation. But merely by shutting out the content of one’s consciousness, if one hopes to forcibly remain silent, one merely strengthens one’s ego or will, because in that very effort, there is a conscious force used to shut out other thoughts. That very force is violence. And, that violence is part of the content of one’s consciousness already, is it not? It merely asserts itself further.

So, the question ought to be what can one do to increase awareness of one’s consciousness? That is, what you are really asking is, how can you become consciously aware of what goes on within you all the time? Is this not your question? When one is consciously aware of the contents of oneself, a great many things become a moot point. It is so. It is not an assumption, nor is it a deduced argument. It is so. One is angry endlessly over something or the other, always believing an injustice rendered to them by such and such person. It could be one’s parents, one’s sibling, one’s children, one’s husband, one’s wife, one’s colleagues, one’s friends, and so on. That is, one feels one’s life has not been fair to oneself for whatever reason. One realizes then one’s life is endlessly in chaos, conflict, pain, agony, suffering, misery, etc. One then looks for ways to get out of this misery, one wants to find out, why one’s life is in perpetual conflict and pain.

One then, either takes individual instances and analyses them to decide if their anger is justified. If so, the anger continues, if not, it appeases, though, for the moment. It is only a momentary relief, it has to be, because one is yet to understand anger itself, is it not? That anger is a part of me, it exists in my consciousness waiting to merely be provoked by an external stimuli again. Or, a person takes to meditation thinking that will resolve all of one’s problems without actually understanding the problem. Not that I am angry, I know it already, I don’t need to be told I am angry. But rather, anger itself. That is, without understanding anger, I am looking to heal it not knowing what it is. If one tries to heal something without knowing what it is, one is merely suppressing it from the surface, and thinking therefore it is cured, is it not? Can one be certain that it has been rooted out completely by suppressing symptoms? By merely putting a balm on it, one has neither understood it, nor eliminated it.

On the other hand, if one stayed with anger completely without escaping it, what happens? What does anger do? It scalds you from within first and foremost, before it affects another, before it affects the society, before it affects the world, is it not? A burning rage burns you first before it breaks out. But one is more concerned with the fire spreading not least realizing it must be put out within first. Where does one start? One can endlessly find ways of treating anger, but it keeps on surfacing. If the cause of this inward fire exists, it will continue to keep breaking out, is it not?

So then, what is the role of meditation in all of this? To exert any effort requires a certain force and will, is it not? They both are one and the same, will and force. It is the same as rubbing a balm to escape a momentary anger or undesired situation. Every time there is the threat of anger erupting, you shut yourself in a corner and forcibly bring your attention onto something else, and then, think, you have risen above it. If you have risen above it, you have merely sidestepped it, not got rid of it. So what is one to do? One is burning within, and one doesn’t like what is taking place within, one is worried that one’s world is falling apart as a result of this seething anger within oneself.

So, having understood the futility of treating anger, one wants to come face to face with it. Therefore, one wonders, how can I stay with something so overwhelming, so strong, so forceful, so potent in me, and not let it erupt at the same time? That is, I want to understand it, I want to stay with it, to see how far deep it goes, and see where its roots are, so that it can be pulled out, but when my circumstances are so overwhelming, how can I not let it show towards another? How can I let my anger not express itself towards another while I stay with it and not try to escape it? Isn’t this the dilemma one is faced with? Because if anger is let loose to express itself, then it kills all that it touches, relationships, opportunities, career, people, society, everything. And, if I keep suppressing it from others, while seething within, it is going to kill my body through diseases. Such is its potent nature.

So, what is anger? If it mustn’t be expressed, and mustn’t be controlled, what is one to do with it? Can anything be done about it? It is so deeply rooted in oneself, that it is seems impossible for one to trace where it derives its energy from to keep surfacing endlessly, whenever provoked. So the only other way to trace it from, would be to see, what is it that gets provoked. When one says something harsh to another, one has hurt that other. Not physically, but emotionally. When you have insulted me, I feel humiliated, angry, hurt and so on. There is a myriad forms of emotions that I can feel all at once surfacing within me. Yet, I am unable to see or feel this emotional ‘me’. It seems there are a myriad attributes with no being or personality. Or, are the attributes the very being or personality? What makes up a psyche or a personality are the qualities that constitute it, is it not? Based on x, y, z, qualities, one is said to have such and such personality. It is this personality that is the emotional being that I am, the ‘ego’. Not my ego, rather, the ego is, the ‘me’. It is this ‘me’, that is happy, sad, miserable, conflicted, angry, confident, insecure, proud, etc.

The ego, which is, the ‘me’, is made up of the qualities that constitute my personality. Therefore, the personality is the ‘person’, the ‘me’, is it not? The person behind the personality only comes alive, when one or the other attributes or quality is expressed. Without these attributes, where is this emotional ‘person’? One’s physical body is put together by all its various anatomical parts. In the absence of these, there is no physical body. Like so, all the emotional, psychological parts within me, make up my ego, as the ‘me’. Without these parts, there is no ‘me’, is it not? The physical body exists physically, it is tangible, and actual whereas, the emotional being, the ego, the ‘me’, exists only in thought, is it not? If there is no thought there is no me surfacing, as happy, sad, angry, miserable, hurting, humiliated, and so on. Therefore, my thoughts which expresses the ‘me’, is essentially made to suppress, in meditations, so that one remains silent. And in that forced silence, one hopes to trace the ‘me’ and come to the understanding that it doesn’t actually exist, except in one’s thoughts, least realizing, that it is this very ‘me’ that exerts its will, by, forcibly shutting out all other thoughts in meditation, while it continues to stay, as silence. If silence is forced, can it actually be silence, or is it a self-hypnotized belief that one is silent? Any belief merely adds to one’s emotional and psychological attribute thereby keeping it alive. On the other hand, when one contemplates deeply on this emotional being, the ego, the ‘me’, that gets angry when provoked, that one wishes to understand, one sees that it only exists in the mind. When one comes upon the Truth that there is no ‘you’, no ‘me’, what meaning do my conflicts have with you, justified or not? Whose conflicts are they? When one remains in this meditative contemplation in every moment, in every activity, in every experience, in one’s life, one sees for oneself, all the many psychological qualities and emotions, that surfaces in oneself, dissolving on its own, without any effort at controlling one’s thoughts.

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